Call it soul searching, soul retrieval, the dark night of the soul or a mid-life crisis and you may hear harrowing tales of endings. Endings in relationships, established careers and ingrained structures that can rock the world of even the most stable individual.
These shifts in a life that we have become accustomed to can create a great deal of havoc through grief and chronic feelings of loss, abandonment, even betrayal. It is necessary to experience the profound emotions that accompany loss, however, the stasis (Wikipedia definition of stasis: a block of little or no evolutionary change in a species) that can occur when we get stuck in negative emotions becomes very detrimental to our health, relationships, and productivity often exacerbating an already compromised state of affairs.
It is extremely important in times of transition to identify what we do have an impact on in our lives and what we do not. In reality, the only one we can change is the Self. This is always the truth, however, we are often blissfully unaware in a sort of illusory understanding that we are “in control” until something changes outside of us that we are attached to and strongly identified with. Of primary importance now is keeping the physical vessel intact to the very best of our ability. Yes, physical balance is much more challenging to achieve when one feels profound loss. There is often an unconscious response to fill the emptiness and longing for what was with something else, i.e. food; shopping; work; people; drink; a new sports car, etc. This first response to find comfort “away” from the feelings drives the body into an additionally taxing state, and mental shaming or regrets may follow compromising neurochemistry which often leads to depression, insomnia, weight gain, exhaustion and hormonal imbalance. In times of drastic change it is really a good idea to seek the support of objective friends, family and caring professionals. KEEP YOUR BODY HEALTHY AND STRONG. Keeping the neurochemistry balanced and the immune system intact by the use of nutrients, minerals and herbal remedies is not only natural, but the body responds to this nutritional support with renewed energies bringing new optimism and stamina to support you as you journey into new ways of living. Nourishing treatments such as energy healing, homeopathy, essential oil and orchid essence therapies can have a profound effect on the emotional body, easing us out of outdated perspectives that no longer serve us and making room for a new way of being in the world.
The next step is to nurture the soul through the emotions rather than around them. You can only heal what you can feel, according to best-selling author John Gray, in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. There are infinite ways to process loss. Find a professional who is experienced, compassionate and skilled in dealing with significant life transitions and can work with you physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually to facilitate multi-dimensional healing. Pull together a healthy support team. Anyone who is not supportive may not be good for you at this time. Meticulous self-honesty is important here. Healthy time for self is a good thing, isolation is not, and may be a sign that it is time to seek professional help.
BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF. Identify and turn around all negative self-talk. This is the big opportunity for healing, growth and self-reclamation. This can be the life-enhancing shift that supports the realization of your dreams. Work diligently to seek the opportunity dwelling within the new spaces in your life. Your new-found-freedom is lurking in areas that you may not have had time to investigate before. Cry when you need to cry and make room for the joy that will most inevitably come.
A Course In Miracles says: You no more recognize what is painful than you know what is joyful, and are, in fact, very apt to confuse the two.
What is joyful to you is painful to the ego, and as long as you are in doubt about what you are, you will be confused about joy and pain.
Every miracle is thus a lesson in truth, and by offering truth you are learning the difference between pain and joy.
Stay with the Truth of who you are, a most precious child of the Universe.
And, begin, again.